How to Get an Apartment in Bombay

Lately the weather has been spectacular.  From about mid-November until beginning mid-March it is high 70’s and 80’s – sunshine and soft breezes.

On a Saturday afternoon we are having some people over.  In Bombay just about everything and anything can be delivered to your door.  It is the norm.  Sometimes you may not have ordered anything but someone will still come to your door with something you now realize you need.   On Saturday we met our new fishmonger.  In addition here is a short tour of our new place.

Some of the highlights from the 4 month process to secure a 900 sq ft apartment in Bombay:

July, 2018 

We lived in a 1700 sq ft apartment, high ceilings, close to our jobs, places to go out and near the train.  The rent we were paying was fairly low. But.. there is black mold everywhere.  Leaks are frequent.  Walls are crumbling.  My bathroom door won’t shut (sometimes I lock myself inside and have to get Smritika or the other roomate to come open up the door).  Landlords won’t fix anything.  They seem nice. Even showed up to see the problem showed sympathy and said they will fix the problem. But… but kept making excuses for not showing up.  The lease ends in September. We make the decision to try and find a new place.  Several people think we are crazy to give this up.

Getting Started: August, 2018

Our wishlist for a new place sounded something like this.  70,000 rupees is about $1,000 which is very expensive for India.

This question of me being Catholic and my baptism certificate I thought was strange at the time but as you can see, strange can become the new normal.

“Catholic Societies” or condo associations tend to be nicer housing, in great locations at a decent price. These societies only accepted other Catholics and in many cases only wanted foreigners.  This is legal or I think it is.  It is definitely accepted. As a white foreigner they assumed I was Catholic.  Initially I said I was not Catholic.  Then I said I was Catholic but no Baptism certificate.  Two months into the process, I had made plans with a friend to photoshop their certificate to have an official certificate.

Brokers or Real Estate Agents: 

The way it works in Bombay is you use a broker to help you find a place.  You ask your network: “anyone have a good broker?”  People then recommend their broker.  You date many brokers at once.  Brokers, receive one month’s rent commission, usually paid for by the tenant.  In my phone I have 10 brokers names and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  By the end of the process we probably had 25 different brokers show us places.  Some of my favorite memories were the mornings on Saturday or Sunday and riding on the back of Jayesh or Sameer’s scooter going from spot to spot.

Taking a break: Mid-August

By mid-August we had probably seen about 15 places.  The way it works is  you are shown the worst housing stock first.  Maybe to break you down?  Then the apartments get better.  We had not gotten to the better yet.  We took a break for CHICAGO!

Back to Grind: 2nd of September, 2am 

We came back.  Over 2.5 weeks had led to more mold spreading in the bedroom.  Had to move the bed into the living room.  On the bright side of things 2am felt like 2pm and we had a little party, had some drinks & ate good food.  The next jetlagged week was tough.  We did a homemade bleach the mold job and moved back to the bedroom.  The search continued.

September: Tough month

During the month of September we saw 60+ apartments.  A grueling process.  Few of the 60 met our basic requirements.  One dump after another.  It felt like we would find nothing and we had to move out by end of October.

Close calls

There were some great spots that we “almost had”

• A an apartment with a huge rooftop terrace with a 360 degree view.  This was not only a Penthouse but a business opportunity.  These kind of spaces are not common in Bombay and we could have paid for our rent each month through hosting events.  The landlord was some shady wealthy developer we would never meet.
• A spot at a Catholic society with who I thought was a nice old couple.  Beautiful place.  After telling me the apartment was mine I received a call from the broker. “They only rent to Catholic Foreigners.” They are ok with you” (they thought I was Catholic) but they won’t rent to you because your girlfriend is Indian (the landlords are Indian).  Would have had to present a forged baptism certificate.
• Another beautiful spot.  Landlord lived in Australia.  After negotiating with him via phone and him telling me that he prefers “your type of people” vs. those from the villages or (some racist term for Muslims).   We didn’t end up with the place

October: Starting to feel the pressure

We are starting to feel the pressure.  We stop using a broker.  New highrise, clean, even has a workout room.   Landlord is a nice family directly below where we will be living.  Price is right.  Fantastic location.  But you know what…something isn’t right.  Place has no character.  Sterile.  But we need to get something at this point.  We decide: It’s not perfect but it’s the rationale and smart choice.  The day before we are headed there to sign the papers we receive some pictures of a another spot.  We both say: “why not.”

Saturday

The day we go to sign lease at “sterile spot” we stop at our future apartment.  After 5 minutes of walking around,  Smritika and I look at each other, no words.  We both know we want it.

Negotiations

To compare buying a condo vs. securing an apartment in Bombay.  I would say the negotiations were more taxing in Bombay.  I won’t give you all the details but it ended up being a 9 page lease agreement.  Two of my favorite excerpts from the agreement.  The two short paragraphs below basically says:

• If other condo owners don’t like us they can kick us out within 7 days
• If we die or commit suicide in the place it’s not their fault (they snuck in the death clause a couple days before signing).  Felt like a low blow and a little random.

“The Licensee agree that they are responsible for anything that happens in the said premises during the duration of their stay.  Any nuisance caused to the society will lead to termination of this agreement with a one week notice from the Licensor. The Licensor or the society is not responsible for the safety of the Licensee and will not be held responsible for any kind of theft or accident that causes death.”

Any accidents, suicide or cause to death will not hold the Licensor responsible in any way during the stay of the licensee.

You realize:

1. Although the Bombay laws say otherwise, renters have virtually no rights (like most places)
2. Even with an iron clad agreement, shit could still go the wrong way (e.g you could go to police with complaint but they could be bought off or be connected to the landlord)
3. If things needed to go to court, it would take years and years.
4. In the end you use common sense to protect yourself, trust your gut, pay rent on time, read everything carefully and hope for the best.

Next step is to learn to pay my gas and electric each month.

I do love this apartment!

1. Me watering some of our very tropical plants on the terrace (B, now I spray the leaves as well)
2. Set the table and about to eat in our cozy dining room/kitchen area
3. You can barely see, but we have two hawks that sleep each night above our terrace.
4. Oranges are in season.  Holy shit!  Sweet and ton of flavor, great texture, few seeds, easy to peel.

It’s orange season now. Holy shit! Sweetest, tastiest oranges with great texture.

A great way to spend a lazy Sunday in the house: Pudin Hara (peppermint oil for stomach after late night), cake, coffee and a movie.

Indianisms Part 1: “Only”

Same as Scotland, Ireland, Australia and/or Alabama we can speak the same language but many of the words will be have different meaning or used in a different way.  For India I want to highlight the word “Only.”